DAY THREE - BIJAPUR TO BEED

CURRENT SPEED RECORD = 80kph

Today we almost lost Katie in a near gang-bang situation with a handful of Maharashtran tractor-drivers. More on that later.

First though, will the person who feeds his dog leftover tikka masala and then walks it alongside the road between Sholapur and Tuljapur, please find somewhere else. There’s only one thing worse than sitting in a car for ten hours in 28 degree heat, and that’s sitting in a car for ten hours in 28 degree heat with dog-shit on your shoes. Both feet.

Right, the guys ran out of petrol this afternoon. It’s rare for the support vehicles not to be within sight, but nevertheless, instead of sitting tight, Katie decided it would be best to hitch a ride back to the nearest town. So with blonde hair tousled by the wind and her sheer summer dress backlit by the low afternoon sun, she stuck her thumb out and caught a ride with a truckload of horny farmer’s sons.

Support soon arrived in the shape of a fuming producer, who is now in the doghouse because although he said our programme should truthfully represent the real journey to Nepal, he apparently forgot to mention that kidnap was to be avoided at all cost. What hurts most is that it was only an hour earlier that he and the crew had surprised Katie with a birthday cake. Perhaps it was that after eating just over half of it herself, the sugar rushed to her dizzy little head. Bless.

Meanwhile our Indian crew found themselves entangled in some shady behaviour in a toilet at the border of Karnataka and Maharashtra. Traveling with three HD cameras, laptops, disk drives and a western TV crew would normally cost an arm and a leg. But they finally left that cosy little room behind the guard post with a mere greasing of a palm… so to speak.

Our Production Manager Jitu also managed to rustle up Katie’s birthday cake from a local cake shop, complete with candles and icing, in just under eight minutes flat. As I said before, Katie ate more than half.

A couple of quick statistics worth a mention: Shelley now holds the current speed record, clocking an incredible 80kph on the flat (no tail-wind). And Katie became the only person we know who can sleep peacefully in a speeding rickshaw for more than two hours without stirring. That happened shortly after the sugar-rush wore off.

Finally, for anyone who maintains a jack is an essential piece of equipment in any vehicle, we say “think again!”. Check out our A Blonde, A Brunette And A See-Saw method at www.tamrickshawrun .com.

So the end of a long, tiring day fraught with frustration and plagued by frayed tempers. Day into night, through rain and shine, two hundred and seventy kilometres, each of which has tested the team’s stamina, patience and sense of humour.

Now in my hotel room in Beed, I clean my shoes and contemplate the rugged terrain of central Maharashtra. Another two-hour-long lunch-on-the-run at some fast-food place in Aurangabad will break tomorrow’s journey. A few extra litres of spare fuel ought to help keep the peace.

Nepal does feel closer now, but I think we’re all starting to realise that our safe arrival in Pokhara will come at a price.